Archive

Humor

On Sunday, some go to the house of illusions

It’s built on delusions, on your life, its intrusions

Say the good in humans and all of the love

Must come from some mysterious power up above.

 

Sinner, REPENT, you are nothing but scum

The snake oil we sell you take’s 10% of the sum

Of all of your work, and all of your toils

If you don’t pay the rent, in a lake of fire you’ll boil.

 

So indoctrinate your children, teach them not to think

From the start their potential will suddenly shrink.

Hate the sin, not the sinner, you pray, as you prey

On the abominations that genetics made gay

 

The millions of starving, all part of God’s plan

While you kneel to pray for a raise and more land.

So preach down to the sinners, from way up on high

As they wonder why the beam is stuck in your eye

Pass on your prejudice and pass on your hate,

If heaven existed, you’d be barred at the gate.

 

 

By Josh Wilson 7-18-10

Melba,

 Thank you so much for taking time to meet with me Whateverday, Octember 32.  I really enjoyed learning about the opportunity to yingyang and poppycock.

 I think that my asshattery skills and flimflam experience could really contribute to your team.

 I am really excited about the poopsmith position, and look forward to the opportunity to work for you.

 Thank you,

Omniscient Corporate Warrior-Poet

by Joshua Wilson

Join the ‘Bring Conan to Comedy Central’ Facebook group

Network television is a dinosaur.  Comedy Central should land Conan O’Brien, and let Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show, and Stephen Colbert’s Colbert Report lead into Conan.

Three Wee Kings of Comedy (okay, 2)

Sure, this might mean moving up the lineup by half an hour, but young viewers are where it’s at, and young viewers are watching Comedy Central.

The kings of comedy are well suited to work together

In addition to the nightly handoff, Stewart and Colbert often appear on their counterpart’s show.  Imagine the ratings Bonanza if you added the clout wielded by Conan O’Brien.

Conan wields mad clout in the comedy world

Past skits involving these three on The Daily Show, Colbert Report, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, and The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien have all been hillarious.  A healthy rivalry between the 3 for ratings would only build a mutually beneficial situation for them and for Comedy Central, and owner Viacom.

The world is staring at Conan, guessing his next move

As a bonus, let’s throw in a little Andy Richter, and let this team be the meteor that drives the network dinosaurs into late night extinction.

Andy Richter is alwasy a barrel of laughs

P.S.  Just one last request:  Please, let’s have Norm Macdonald as the first guest on Conan and Andy’s new Comedy Central show!

If you have a thirst for comedy, you can drink your fill if Norm Macdonald is near

Join the ‘Bring Conan to Comedy Central’ Facebook group

Inside the  Two Plus Two forums, some players are discussing what country to move to if the US bans online poker (many people mistakenly think it’s banned now but it’s not).  Naturally, PokerXanadu proposed forming his own sovereign nation.  But it was this post in the replies that cracked me up.

1. Find a country that the general population is unhappy with

2. Has a piss poor military

3. Make sure this country has no ties to any major military on major economic power, and that the members of the U.N Security Council will not interfere, and the international community will recognize our new gov.

4. Send in advance agents to initiate physiological warfare on the population, threw propaganda against the existing regime.

5. Train rebel revolutionaries

6. Develop a new gov. and economy to put in place after the fall of the old regime.

7. Start the revolution, win a fast and decisive victory

8. Establish new GOV. rule with an Iron fist to maintain power

9. Play online poker